"Well, I had this card when I woke up that said I was a wizard... plus, I had a bunch of weird things. A staff with freaky symbols, this weird necklace, and a room full of weird labelled bottles, boxes, and containers. There was even something called 'Jack Sparrow's Soul Sauce' in there. No idea what that was about, so I figure it must be magic stuff. It fits."
SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG my weekend has sucked t-t