thestormishere | ☈ strike # 20 (action / voice)

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☈ strike # 20 (action / voice)

[ Lightning's actually not much of a morning person. Military girl or not, on most days it's usually the sun that beats her up- especially once the daylight hours start lengthening a little, and she has no real obligations except to get an early start on going out to run or something...

This time, though... something's been bothering her all night, and sleep in general hasn't come easy at all. It's still mostly dark when she tumbles out of her room, on edge because even if she doesn't yet recognize the source something is wrong--

It doesn't take her long to figure out why, that her current family in Luceti number has abruptly dropped, four total to three instead. After all, she's been around plenty long enough to know the signs that someone has left, even if she's never experienced it firsthand.

In this case, it's an empty bedroom- the only sign that it's ever been lived in at all the color of the walls and several of the dog's things left behind.

And to say that the woman's upset is like saying water is wet, or really, that Luceti is unfair. Rather than alerting anyone else, however, there's only a distinct SLAM of the front door as the pink-haired l'Cie flees the scene, taking Baldr with her - even now she's not cruel enough to make the animal think two of his people have left him.

Whether her housemates choose to go after her immediately or discuss amongst themselves first or whatever, regardless, eventually there's brief audio message that gets thrown out to the winds of the journals, delivered in a voice that's deceptively flat. Considering the general sentiment behind such a common type of report here, however, she's probably not fooling even those who don't know her personally. ]

Hope Estheim's gone home.

[ ... Someone just try and be smart with her about the teen's name right now. She's not in the mood. ]

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[ Aerith is a morning person, and even still, as it's mostly dark, she's only just snapped out of her sleepy but automatic ritual, getting ready to check on the flower shop, at the slam of a door.

Considering neither Light nor Zack are morning people, that leaves Hope--although she didn't think he woke up this early, and where would he be going in such a hurry?--or--an intruder? It's not completely unheard of in Luceti. It's concerning enough that she decides to check rooms, and Hope's is top on the list to see if something upset him.

...It's so empty.

She stands in the doorway for a moment, a frown curling her lips, before she heads out the front door. No need to check the other rooms. She's pretty sure she knows who ran out in such a hurry, and her name gets called out to the cool morning air: ]

Light?

[ Well, if Lightning had run there's no way she'd still be in sight, but as it stands, she hasn't quite made it that far yet. At the sound of her name, she turns back as she walks, sees the other woman... and still just keeps walking away, completing a full rotation.

The dog looks back too, actually pausing in place on the path, but after a second he decides his priorities lie with Lightning and goes to catch back up with her.

Day's hardly even started and she is more than done with it already. D O N E . ]

Light--!

[ Aerith will run, then; she needs to catch up somehow. ]

[ Are you actually wearing shoes, Aerith? Because... well, Lightning's not, even though she somehow managed to snatch up a light jacket at some point before escaping the house. Perhaps it was easier to throw on in a hurry and without thinking than her current selection of boots and shoes...

Lightning knows that the other woman coming after her probably means she already knows there's a reason she's ... leaving, but she still doesn't offer a proper response. Catch up to her all you like, flower girl, but don't be expecting much. ]

[ She is wearing hastily shoved-on boots, because they are simple, broken-in, in-a-pinch-pull-tongue-and-shove-in boots. She is missing a jacket because she doesn't feel it and she knows she won't freeze so it makes no difference. Between the two of them they may be a fully-appropriately-dressed-for-conditions person, and between the two of them there's probably nowhere near enough caring to notice for the moment.

But she is catching up, still jogging a bit to keep Lightning from pulling ahead with her long strides. ]

...Where are you going?

[ Usually Lightning would notice immediately whenever her friend's done something not temperature appropriate... but yeah, her concern about that kind of thing is low right now. Nonexistent, even.

She doesn't answer for several seconds and several steps, doesn't really look at Aerith save to aim a narrowed gaze at the woman from approximately the knees down. ]

Does it matter?

Of course it matters, you don't even have shoes.

[ Light might not notice the missing jacket, and there's a good chance Aerith hasn't herself. Bare feet against the ground though, that's noticeable, and a sign of just how upset Light is. Aerith folds her arms, uncomfortable and upset herself. She'd liked Hope, and knowing the hardship he was going back to... but it had to be so much worse for the other woman. ]

Light, I'm so sorry.

[ Yeah, yeah, Lightning's not really listening too well... although at the apology, abruptly she just ... her strides falter in their length, until she trails to a halt mid-step, her eyes down.

Look at that, she's not wearing shoes after all. Distantly, the woman is abruptly aware that it is a little too cold to be in such a state going out barefoot, the chilled earth feeling strange beneath her feet...

But perhaps that could be a good thing too, considering she really could use the anchoring of physical sensation right now. Everything else seems grey and dim, the sounds of early morning reduced to distant echoes; the breaths she takes in seem reluctant to come back out, once the air's been caught in her chest.

Aerith is sorry? Gradually, a frown begins to form on Lightning's face. ]

[ Frowns are rather to be expected in this situation so if it has anything to do with what she's said, Aerith can't tell, and with Lightning saying nothing she starts again. ]

Let's go back for the shoes, alright? If you want to take off again--that's okay. [ She doesn't want to trap Light. It'd hurt, a bit, if she took off again, but sometimes that's what you needed to do. ] But you have to take care of yourself. You know you're going to see him again.

I don't want t--

[ Her voice is sharp, and yet she suddenly cuts off mid-word, annoyance flaring up quick and hot in her belly; her hands clench in the pockets of her jacket, though one soon gets pulled out for an averted, frustrated gesture. However, even if at first even she thinks it's directed at Aerith... it takes her a moment more to understand its true source.

Of course she doesn't want to go back- just look at her, trying to run away again. Whenever she's upset, angry, sad, confused... trying to run away is always the first thing she tries to do.

She's not entirely sure what else she's supposed to do, though. If there was a solution, she would have already found it; if there was something she could do, she would have already done it.

Baldr's head bumps into her free hand, but she doesn't really react even as he frets confused words in a whine, wagging his tail nervously as he glances between the two women. ]

........

[ Welp. Aerith's just going to start slipping off her own boots, then. Even if there's a lump in her throat. ]

[ ... But why? It takes her a bit, but after a moment Lightning finally seems to take notice- she turns her head slowly to watch, her brows coming together. ]

[ They're held out, with the brief explanation: ] I'm not going anywhere particular today.

[ if anyone finds her being barefoot at the flower shop odd they...probably haven't witnessed her talking to the flowers yet. SHE CERTAINLY DOES THINGS ODDER THAN THIS. ]

I can't take your boots.

[ It's preposterous enough to surprise Lightning out of her angry tongue-tied silence, at least, but still her voice is tired and her posture defensive. Rationality is not something she has much of this morning, regardless of how hard Aerith's actions are doing their best to pull it out of her. ]

[ ...her hand droops for a moment, but then she rallies. ] Yes you can. They go in your hands [ Pushing them into fingers however unwilling! ] and then you put them on your feet.

I know you're upset. But... [ Aerith flounders with words there--she's not so good at this. ] Try to think of how you'll see him again. Because you definitely will.

[ But she is pulling back a bit, assuming that Light is going to take off no matter what. ]

[ Lightning just stares miserably, somehow managing to hang onto the boots despite the temptation to let her fingers go slack and simply allow the things to fall to the ground between them.

The funny thing is, she's just so used to not being able to react like this, to always having some sort of obligation that requires her to swallow her emotions and press on for the sake of someone else that...

... Geez, she doesn't even know if Aerith's boots would fit her, anyway. ]

I know that.

[ And she frowns as if actually pained; the fact that she'll see Hope again eventually isn't her main deal here... ]

So everything will work out.

[ Sob. She is not telepathic. Just Miss Positivity-Even-In-Prison-Likely-To-Be-Executed. ]

[ Easier said than easily-believed, when you know just how extensively terrible the situation happens to be 'back home.' It seems Lightning responds best to either bluntness or fancy speeches, and since neither of those things happens to be flowing into her ears right now...

The miserable look stays, and the woman withdraws with an averted gaze and some conspicuous silence. Can her escape go here? ]

[ Go for it. ]

[ Great.

Despite a rush of self-consciousness for it, Lightning inclines her head, backing up a step to pivot sharply. She and the dog will ... be back before long, honest. ]

I'd only talked to Hope a couple times but I knew that he was a good guy. Thanks for letting us know.

[ After some time, in which Lightning assures herself she isn't going to abruptly lash out at random people who mean no harm: ]

No problem.

[Despite not being a morning person in the slightest (especially since he kind of works at night) it probably won't take long for him to be awake after Lightning leaves, whether due to the noise or because Aerith prodded him awake to share the news. And he'd have liked to follow her, but he knows that sometimes you really do want to be left alone.

Once the message is on the journal system, though, he isn't going to let it go by without a response. He's worried.]

...Light?

Yeah.

[ Not that there's much to say. Lightning figured - was anticipating, really - that Zack would reply when she opened her journal to throw out that revelation for the village in general.

Unlike her trained tone in the original message, however, the woman's voice is distinctly defeated- evident even in such a short reply. She's willing to pretend otherwise for the sake of those she doesn't know, of course, but she's far too honest to veil her pain for long when the initial knee-jerk reaction wears off and contacted by someone she actually trusts. ]

Where are you? [Actually, wait, what he should be asking first is-] Can I come and find you?

[He really, really wants to. That isn't the voice of someone who should be left on their own.]

[ Zack... dammit, bless you, but your obvious concern is making your generally tough as adamantine girlfriend to wince under the strain of conflicting emotions. On one hand she still wants to be alone, but on the other, considering she just lost the person serving as her one living reminder of her home...

It takes her a bit, perhaps even a full minute or two, but eventually: ]

Beach. Just go south.

[ A long, long way south, courtesy of l'Cie stamina. That's probably to nobody's surprise, though. The sand and waves remain her usual refuge whenever she finds her emotions starting to run high or when she just needs some time to think. ]

Beach, you got it.

[He says nothing more, just shuts the journal and heads out. Thankfully l'Cie stamina can be matched by that of a SOLDIER, so eventually he should catch up with her, especially since he's worried enough to hurry.]

[ It probably helps that she doesn't go much farther once she's done talking to him on the journal. It's still too cold to sit too close to the water, but she settles herself on the sand as she waits anyway, leaning on her hands and her legs stretched out and crossed at the ankle in front of her.

She just watches when he appears, says nothing when he draws up closer- considering how shot her mood is, that fact is likely a good thing, however. Last thing she needs to be doing right now is possibly acting out with a sharp tongue, she thinks, even if the frustration is still obviously there. ]

[Well, he's been here- in this mental state, that is. Missing someone so badly it hurts, not knowing when you'll see them again... Hope hadn't died like Angeal or Sephiroth - at least, to his knowledge - but that doesn't change how hard it is.

Wordlessly he heads over, plunking himself down behind her and gently winding his arms around her shoulders, resting his head beside hers. It helped, when he'd gone through this. Hopefully she'll accept it from him.]

[ ... Oh. It's not what she expected - if she even knew what to expect at all - and for a few moments she turns her head and tenses, trying to figure out what he's doing; automatically she shifts her weight to put a hand against one of his arms in confusion... but she doesn't really further object after that, either.

The fact that he's not yet attempting to explain away her grief, not saying anything, is surprisingly helpful. She remains silent as well, her thoughts winding around in slow circles, her face going from blank to irritated and back a few times before eventually: ]

I guess... my turn had to come some time.

[ Because while Sazh and Rosch had been here before and left soon afterward, it was only a matter of time before a return home actually caused her something other than relief, right? ]

Everybody gets at least one.

[He doesn't move to let go or anything, just remains that way for a while. She's not pushing him away, so maybe it'll do them both some good.]

He's okay though, right? Back home?

[ ... Lightning's silent for too long. Is Hope okay back home? The truth is... ]

He was from further along than I am-- his Brand was a lot further than mine when he got here... every single day before the Malnosso put a stop to it, I was afraid something might set him off.

[ Her voice is low, reluctant-- uneasy. Even now fear twists like a knife in her stomach. Knowing about Cie'th was always bad enough... yet now that she's had it happen to her, just thinking about it is immensely terrifying. Like it or not, that event has altered her mindset drastically.

And the worst part is, if any of them became Cie'th back on Gran Pulse, there wouldn't be any getting better like she had. They'd be like that forever, stuck in regret and painfully-powerful hatred right up until the day they wore down to immobility or something tore them to pieces.

She doesn't know if Hope is okay, because she doesn't know if any of them would be okay if they still hadn't found any sign of a solution by Hope's time, had no way of stopping their Brands or getting back into Cocoon...

As much as she's upset that he's gone too, that's what is really upsetting her: the prospect of a fate worse than death, for a young man she'd come to think of as her little brother and the others who she'd come to consider her friends and family. ]

...Even so. [He holds her a little bit more tightly at that- not constrictively, but to make a point: she has support, from more than just him, and Aerith, and any of the friends she has here or back home.] You guys will figure something out, one way or another. You won't become monsters in your world. You'll save each other.

[He sounds absolutely, undoubtedly convicted in this. As if nothing anyone in the world could say would change his mind.]

Edited 2012-04-14 05:13 (UTC)

[ For a few moments, Zack's words just hang in the air... though not really because Lightning doubts them. Even while she's been here she's had ideas, formed after long stretches of thought and research she'd never had the chance to indulge in while fleeing the Sanctum back home. She hasn't forgotten the words the six Pulse l'Cie swore by before, right after they'd decided to flee Cocoon entirely, directly preceding the start of her memories in Luceti.

Still, that was a long sixteen months ago.

And the not doubting thing's probably not all that obvious- she ducks her head, grits her teeth... and then suddenly gasps sharply. Her shoulders shake. Yet even as she pants unsteadily, she's also just short of bewildered, as she uses sandy fingertips to wipe tears off her face- like she can't believe someone would dare fleck her with water at a time like this.

Frankly, she's not sure whether to curse herself or actually feel relieved that she's finally hit a point where her emotions abruptly overflow. It's just that being stuck here and helpless when she's used to being able to take some control of her life back, missing her sister so badly it literally hurts her... ]

[And that's when he moves- not away, but closer, shifting around to face her directly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. He's never seen the shame in crying when you feel the grief of losing someone, regardless of how permanent or not the loss might be. It hurts. It hurts just the same. He doesn't say anything, doesn't draw attention to it through words or pointless comments of how it's going to be okay, that she shouldn't cry about it.

Because she should. If she wants it, needs it, she should. She's not weak for it. She's just human. Humans cry.

So for now, he'll just hold her, stroke her hair, and let her cry.]

[ Lightning doesn't want to cry. She freezes a little bit at first as if stunned, not sure what to make of the gesture, and plants her hands on Zack's chest to keep him from getting too close right away. His reaction reminds her of something- an old memory invoked that suddenly makes her feel younger than she is, a swirl of emotions that are both pleasant and unwanted at once...

And then she circles back around, to the thought that, oh right, her two best friends still here with confirmed death sentences hanging over their heads. It's only then, after the tears have mostly already stopped, that her grip finally tightens and she wraps her arms around him instead. She seems very serious about it, though. Like she's afraid he might evaporate at any second and is determined to not let her guard down.

Considering this morning just proved the unpredictability of disappearances, perhaps it's not unwarranted. She's not sure what would happen if she was left alone again; while she's better than she once was, even she knows that she's not really a woman who has ever handled loss very well. ]

[Once she finally relents and holds him back, he relaxes a little, just focusing on hugging her and being there for her as long as she needs (or wants) him to be. The strength of her grip isn't surprising, either; after everything she's been through, well... who wouldn't need something to hold on to?

She's always been so focused on being strong, being a pillar of stability... it must be so exhausting an image to maintain. At the very least, he can sympathize with her there.]

[ The support is strange, but not unpleasant. For a minute more Lightning is simply silent, busy soaking up the heat and scent of Zack's body contrasting with the ocean's crisp air, idly rubbing a gritty path over his back as she scoops her thoughts back together and tries to make sense of herself and situation.

When she pulls away finally, the circles of tiredness have darkened almost to the color of bruises under her eyes; she rubs her fingers over them too as if she can feel them there, sniffs as she tries to regain her composure. Barring her hysterics after being revived from being killed as a Cie'th, she can't remember the last time she broke down quite like this. Maybe she really did need it, though. ]

You're right.

[ And despite the coarseness to her voice, there's the stronger tone, the subtle straightening. She opens her mouth to say more, but then leaves it at that, staring down with a frown at her hands. ]

[He remains close even when she pulls back, keeping his hand on her shoulder. He's concerned, of course, but she's strong, and he trusts her enough to figure that she's hit her limit. He's just glad she finally let it out, so he smiles faintly.]

It happens sometimes. [...] You gonna be okay?

[ She thinks about that for a second or two- not because there's much doubt about what her answer will be, but because her sense of honesty really is that strong. She wants to be sure herself before she gives it, instead of just replying how she's 'supposed' to at a time like this. ]

... Yeah.

[ Breathing a long sigh, she glances over to study his face, before again dropping her gaze and... slowly taking his free hand. Hopefully, the sentiment there is clear enough without her having to say it aloud. ]

[He glances down briefly as she touches his hand, then leans in to brush his lips against the crown of her head, curling his fingers around hers and giving them a squeeze. It's cool, Light, he gets it.]

You want to stay here for a while?

Hm...

[ She keeps her eyes down, touches her cheek again before reaching out to distractedly brush sand off his shirt too. It just figures it's a day where the stuff seems to get everywhere, huh? ]

Should probably start back before I get tired of it...

[He chuckles faintly, returning the favour by flicking some sand off of her jacket. They'll probably have to shake out their clothes before Aerith even lets them inside the house, but at the moment he doesn't care much.]

You're the boss.

[ ~~Of course she is.~~

She just barely manages to drag up a little bit of a smile from the depths of who knows where before shifting up onto her feet and standing, pulling him along with her. Not that champion squatsmaster man needs the help in any way, but whatever...

Chances are, she's still going to be quiet for a while yet, though. ]

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☈ strike # 20 (action / voice)

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[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice] I'm fashionably late again

so fab

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