☈ strike # 20 (action / voice)

[thestormishere]

[ Lightning's actually not much of a morning person. Military girl or not, on most days it's usually the sun that beats her up- especially once the daylight hours start lengthening a little, and she has no real obligations except to get an early start on going out to run or something...

This time, though... something's been bothering her all night, and sleep in general hasn't come easy at all. It's still mostly dark when she tumbles out of her room, on edge because even if she doesn't yet recognize the source something is wrong--

It doesn't take her long to figure out why, that her current family in Luceti number has abruptly dropped, four total to three instead. After all, she's been around plenty long enough to know the signs that someone has left, even if she's never experienced it firsthand.

In this case, it's an empty bedroom- the only sign that it's ever been lived in at all the color of the walls and several of the dog's things left behind.

And to say that the woman's upset is like saying water is wet, or really, that Luceti is unfair. Rather than alerting anyone else, however, there's only a distinct SLAM of the front door as the pink-haired l'Cie flees the scene, taking Baldr with her - even now she's not cruel enough to make the animal think two of his people have left him.

Whether her housemates choose to go after her immediately or discuss amongst themselves first or whatever, regardless, eventually there's brief audio message that gets thrown out to the winds of the journals, delivered in a voice that's deceptively flat. Considering the general sentiment behind such a common type of report here, however, she's probably not fooling even those who don't know her personally. ]

Hope Estheim's gone home.

[ ... Someone just try and be smart with her about the teen's name right now. She's not in the mood. ]

Comments

[wingenvy]

Beach, you got it.

[He says nothing more, just shuts the journal and heads out. Thankfully l'Cie stamina can be matched by that of a SOLDIER, so eventually he should catch up with her, especially since he's worried enough to hurry.]

[thestormishere]

[ It probably helps that she doesn't go much farther once she's done talking to him on the journal. It's still too cold to sit too close to the water, but she settles herself on the sand as she waits anyway, leaning on her hands and her legs stretched out and crossed at the ankle in front of her.

She just watches when he appears, says nothing when he draws up closer- considering how shot her mood is, that fact is likely a good thing, however. Last thing she needs to be doing right now is possibly acting out with a sharp tongue, she thinks, even if the frustration is still obviously there. ]

[wingenvy]

[Well, he's been here- in this mental state, that is. Missing someone so badly it hurts, not knowing when you'll see them again... Hope hadn't died like Angeal or Sephiroth - at least, to his knowledge - but that doesn't change how hard it is.

Wordlessly he heads over, plunking himself down behind her and gently winding his arms around her shoulders, resting his head beside hers. It helped, when he'd gone through this. Hopefully she'll accept it from him.]

[thestormishere]

[ ... Oh. It's not what she expected - if she even knew what to expect at all - and for a few moments she turns her head and tenses, trying to figure out what he's doing; automatically she shifts her weight to put a hand against one of his arms in confusion... but she doesn't really further object after that, either.

The fact that he's not yet attempting to explain away her grief, not saying anything, is surprisingly helpful. She remains silent as well, her thoughts winding around in slow circles, her face going from blank to irritated and back a few times before eventually: ]

I guess... my turn had to come some time.

[ Because while Sazh and Rosch had been here before and left soon afterward, it was only a matter of time before a return home actually caused her something other than relief, right? ]

[wingenvy]

Everybody gets at least one.

[He doesn't move to let go or anything, just remains that way for a while. She's not pushing him away, so maybe it'll do them both some good.]

He's okay though, right? Back home?

[thestormishere]

[ ... Lightning's silent for too long. Is Hope okay back home? The truth is... ]

He was from further along than I am-- his Brand was a lot further than mine when he got here... every single day before the Malnosso put a stop to it, I was afraid something might set him off.

[ Her voice is low, reluctant-- uneasy. Even now fear twists like a knife in her stomach. Knowing about Cie'th was always bad enough... yet now that she's had it happen to her, just thinking about it is immensely terrifying. Like it or not, that event has altered her mindset drastically.

And the worst part is, if any of them became Cie'th back on Gran Pulse, there wouldn't be any getting better like she had. They'd be like that forever, stuck in regret and painfully-powerful hatred right up until the day they wore down to immobility or something tore them to pieces.

She doesn't know if Hope is okay, because she doesn't know if any of them would be okay if they still hadn't found any sign of a solution by Hope's time, had no way of stopping their Brands or getting back into Cocoon...

As much as she's upset that he's gone too, that's what is really upsetting her: the prospect of a fate worse than death, for a young man she'd come to think of as her little brother and the others who she'd come to consider her friends and family. ]

[wingenvy]

...Even so. [He holds her a little bit more tightly at that- not constrictively, but to make a point: she has support, from more than just him, and Aerith, and any of the friends she has here or back home.] You guys will figure something out, one way or another. You won't become monsters in your world. You'll save each other.

[He sounds absolutely, undoubtedly convicted in this. As if nothing anyone in the world could say would change his mind.]

[thestormishere]

[ For a few moments, Zack's words just hang in the air... though not really because Lightning doubts them. Even while she's been here she's had ideas, formed after long stretches of thought and research she'd never had the chance to indulge in while fleeing the Sanctum back home. She hasn't forgotten the words the six Pulse l'Cie swore by before, right after they'd decided to flee Cocoon entirely, directly preceding the start of her memories in Luceti.

Still, that was a long sixteen months ago.

And the not doubting thing's probably not all that obvious- she ducks her head, grits her teeth... and then suddenly gasps sharply. Her shoulders shake. Yet even as she pants unsteadily, she's also just short of bewildered, as she uses sandy fingertips to wipe tears off her face- like she can't believe someone would dare fleck her with water at a time like this.

Frankly, she's not sure whether to curse herself or actually feel relieved that she's finally hit a point where her emotions abruptly overflow. It's just that being stuck here and helpless when she's used to being able to take some control of her life back, missing her sister so badly it literally hurts her... ]

[wingenvy]

[And that's when he moves- not away, but closer, shifting around to face her directly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. He's never seen the shame in crying when you feel the grief of losing someone, regardless of how permanent or not the loss might be. It hurts. It hurts just the same. He doesn't say anything, doesn't draw attention to it through words or pointless comments of how it's going to be okay, that she shouldn't cry about it.

Because she should. If she wants it, needs it, she should. She's not weak for it. She's just human. Humans cry.

So for now, he'll just hold her, stroke her hair, and let her cry.]

[thestormishere]

[ Lightning doesn't want to cry. She freezes a little bit at first as if stunned, not sure what to make of the gesture, and plants her hands on Zack's chest to keep him from getting too close right away. His reaction reminds her of something- an old memory invoked that suddenly makes her feel younger than she is, a swirl of emotions that are both pleasant and unwanted at once...

And then she circles back around, to the thought that, oh right, her two best friends still here with confirmed death sentences hanging over their heads. It's only then, after the tears have mostly already stopped, that her grip finally tightens and she wraps her arms around him instead. She seems very serious about it, though. Like she's afraid he might evaporate at any second and is determined to not let her guard down.

Considering this morning just proved the unpredictability of disappearances, perhaps it's not unwarranted. She's not sure what would happen if she was left alone again; while she's better than she once was, even she knows that she's not really a woman who has ever handled loss very well. ]

[wingenvy]

[Once she finally relents and holds him back, he relaxes a little, just focusing on hugging her and being there for her as long as she needs (or wants) him to be. The strength of her grip isn't surprising, either; after everything she's been through, well... who wouldn't need something to hold on to?

She's always been so focused on being strong, being a pillar of stability... it must be so exhausting an image to maintain. At the very least, he can sympathize with her there.]

[thestormishere]

[ The support is strange, but not unpleasant. For a minute more Lightning is simply silent, busy soaking up the heat and scent of Zack's body contrasting with the ocean's crisp air, idly rubbing a gritty path over his back as she scoops her thoughts back together and tries to make sense of herself and situation.

When she pulls away finally, the circles of tiredness have darkened almost to the color of bruises under her eyes; she rubs her fingers over them too as if she can feel them there, sniffs as she tries to regain her composure. Barring her hysterics after being revived from being killed as a Cie'th, she can't remember the last time she broke down quite like this. Maybe she really did need it, though. ]

You're right.

[ And despite the coarseness to her voice, there's the stronger tone, the subtle straightening. She opens her mouth to say more, but then leaves it at that, staring down with a frown at her hands. ]

[wingenvy]

[He remains close even when she pulls back, keeping his hand on her shoulder. He's concerned, of course, but she's strong, and he trusts her enough to figure that she's hit her limit. He's just glad she finally let it out, so he smiles faintly.]

It happens sometimes. [...] You gonna be okay?

[thestormishere]

[ She thinks about that for a second or two- not because there's much doubt about what her answer will be, but because her sense of honesty really is that strong. She wants to be sure herself before she gives it, instead of just replying how she's 'supposed' to at a time like this. ]

... Yeah.

[ Breathing a long sigh, she glances over to study his face, before again dropping her gaze and... slowly taking his free hand. Hopefully, the sentiment there is clear enough without her having to say it aloud. ]

[wingenvy]

[He glances down briefly as she touches his hand, then leans in to brush his lips against the crown of her head, curling his fingers around hers and giving them a squeeze. It's cool, Light, he gets it.]

You want to stay here for a while?

[thestormishere]

Hm...

[ She keeps her eyes down, touches her cheek again before reaching out to distractedly brush sand off his shirt too. It just figures it's a day where the stuff seems to get everywhere, huh? ]

Should probably start back before I get tired of it...

[wingenvy]

[He chuckles faintly, returning the favour by flicking some sand off of her jacket. They'll probably have to shake out their clothes before Aerith even lets them inside the house, but at the moment he doesn't care much.]

You're the boss.

[thestormishere]

[ Of course she is.

She just barely manages to drag up a little bit of a smile from the depths of who knows where before shifting up onto her feet and standing, pulling him along with her. Not that champion squatsmaster man needs the help in any way, but whatever...

Chances are, she's still going to be quiet for a while yet, though. ]